Should I? Should I?

Hmm..should I get back to blogging?should I? Should I?..hmm..I'm too... lazy?

For you...

Although it's not easy and requires determination, I'm trying to hold my feelings and stop listening to my instinct, giving you all the time that you need. Never be too bothered by little things that I could do every day which can mislead you to wrong decision. I made up my mind and initiated my commitment but to what extent, it might be affected by the impermanence in my personality. Perhaps that is one thing you wish to know too. But for now, my feeling and admiration have not been shifting away, still true and only for you.

...just a few words...

I don't quite remember how to blog. All I feel like typing now is how I wish I have more time...but it's really okay. Because...I understand.

Update!

Hey yo, people!On this sunny second day of Chinese New Year celebration, I'm feeling the sudden urge that it's time to post something again and I suppose I ain't that lazy to type a quick one  =) Yea, I'm back in my simple yet lovely home in Ipoh again. This time, I'm back for the joy of a family reunion and it is indeed one of the celebrations that I've been longing for every year, the Chinese New Year in the Lunar calender. Sad to say that it'll probably be the last one before I leave my beloved homeland, Malaysia for an eye-opening journey of exploration, definitely more than just gaining new knowledge, in the other part of the world. It is a country in the West called the United States of America. Oh yeah, I just secured myself with the admission into one of the prestigious universities that I applied to, Purdue University. Of course, it'll only be possible to really continue my studies there if I'm able to keep up with my studies in my very last semester in INTI U. Anyway, I'm applying for two other universities, Indiana University and Ohio State University. In spite of Purdue's high ranking nationally and in the world, I still need time to decide on the right one for my academic endeavor later on.

     So, what's up in my recent life? Erm...talk about friends? I've been in the mood of fostering a pleasant relationship, perhaps a close friendship with a female friend. We were friends but not too close and lack of some real understandings of each other. This time, maybe not too much of flirt language but more friendly care as she seems to be feeling the aftermath of a broken relationship. I sincerely hope for her well-being in life and not too bothered by her past that encourages some devastating emotions. That's just mentally-unhealthful, not how life should be for a lovely girl like her. All I'm doing is trying to be a sensitive friend whom she can count on when she needs, hoping that time would heal the pains she mentioned. To her, let bygone be bygone.

     Talk about my college life now! I'm taking three subjects, which are Chemistry 1, General Psychology and Public Speaking. It should be rather manageable but I do need to spend some time for each of them. For Chemistry 1 class, my friends have been telling how friendly and nice is that lecturer, Miss Chong. I couldn't disagree with that as she's been showing her helpfulness and patience in the class. However, I just need to be more attentive and  focus in her lessons as it was two years ago when I last take a Science subject. All I want to complain is that I hope that irritating junior in my class should stop being so annoying and obnoxious by making all those unnecessary noises in the class. I seriously find them disrespectful, distasteful and distracting.


     Psychology is rather interesting. The way that huge lecturer, Mr Shankar teaches might be pretty dull sometimes, with her "Question?!" after every slide of Powerpoint notes and proceed with skimping through the slides. Anyway, he looks like a lecturer with a rather distinctive character (with his tatoo on the arm) and the way he confidently reasons with questions and doubts. He's another Atheist (I heard Mr Eddy, my previous World Religion lecturer is another one) and I started to wonder if all these philosophical lecturers prefer to believe it that way, to be more rational in discussing social questions the scientific and justified way.


     As for Public Speaking, it's another interesting class too. I was expecting Miss Karen, the lecturer to be a fabulous speaker. After all,I find my expectation to be overrated as she isn't really that impressive but the way she teaches is rather different. Being a mix-blooded lady of British and Malaysian Indian, she looks fair and "sweet" and her English is good and clear, except for her overly-used "Yea". I wonder if she noticed that >.< Her lessons are rather practical, obviously with all the speaking tutorials every week. I do find my indulgence in preparing for the tutorials, especially in improving each time for the next tutorial. It requires practices to speak well, really. All in all, the lessons for this semester are so-far-so-good. Surprisingly, I'm no longer that restless and easily dozes up during lessons anymore..Yeay!That's an achievement for me..hee..


Ok,people. Gotta go. Time to dress up myself for a big reunion dinner tonight. Happy Chinese New Year again. Have a great Rabbit year ahead!Till the next time...

Why aren't you updating your blog??!!!

Err...Lazy?Yes, a little...but there're more concerns for me to somehow find it not the right time yet. Firstly, I don't enjoying using inappropriate English at all. Fyi, I was worried about my English proficiency that I felt not up to the standard (which means I can't keep to my current English proficiency level if I'm really going to the US) and I'm trying very hard to improve on my English now. I signed up for SAT next month even though I don't really need it. However, I take it as an opportunity to boost my English vocabularies. Anyway, I think this is a good start before I land my steps in any of the US universities, especially if I am going to Indiana University which is apparently one of my choices and requires all their new students to take an English Proficiency Test upon admission. For now, I'm mugging up my SAT book, jotting down new and useful English vocabularies and try to practically use them.

Well, it's true that you still don't see many new and sophisticated words being used in this post because I'm still not good in it if I'm writing (typing actually) just for the sake of writing naturally, and not improving on it at the same time instead. I'm not sure how, whether I'm on the right track or need some new methods, but I just hope that things will work out eventually. Perhaps one of my new resolutions for 2011...English ftw!!!

Secondly, I am not sure how well I am expressing myself. You might want to know that I had actually deliberately trying to type new blog posts several times and stopped half way or probably after a few sentences, not knowing how to continue or whether there is a point blogging about it. Sometimes, I feel that I used to do this type of expressing essays much better but was I using enough of words to sufficiently and entirely express my true feelings? I doubt that and I'm doubting myself now as well. Anyway, it was not long since I had found my real self again so maybe I should give myself more time.I was kinda losing myself in the indulgence of many new things in my first year and a half in college. Time heals and hopefully, unleash the real potential and personality of mine. Well, if any of you wonder why am I so concerned about using the right English and right way of expressing myself, I'm indeed a person who holds to my principles sometimes....or most of the time. Pal ,accept it.

Thirdly, I'm not sure if I want to announce the details in my life on a blog online. In fact, I have started to realize some disadvantages in using social networks like Facebook, a social monopolist obviously and stop letting my privacy being "exploited". Actually, maybe it isn't really about feeling insecure but rather, not willing to share my stories with everyone. There are some people in my life, some acquaintances perhaps, whom I wish to keep some of the my stories things from. It's not that I hate or dislike them;I just find it unnecessary for them to know so much. I guess I still wish to keep some of my privacies that I deserve.

Actually, I enjoy blogging, especially when I come up with my new theories about life and start telling my humanitarian or philosophical thoughts. I just wish to tell everything in the best way I can in this blogosphere. Name it The Art of Blogging. Blog about my unDefineD wOrds.....