Oh God,please...

Oh God....I just found her not long ago but she's leaving soon...Please give me another good friend like her :(

BiRthDay, CHRisTmAs aNd NEw YEAr BLaSts....CaMe aNd Passed bUt not mEmoRies which stay..

          My semester break has started for quite some time. I did a weekend part time job as a labelmaker promoter at Popular bookstore in Kinta City, Ipoh for 4 (or 5, couldn't remember) weekends. It was a well-paid job but I'll only get my salary later and working as a promoter was a horrible experience to me which I don't even want to talk much about. Then, it was a big family joined by 16 lovely family members to Cameron Highland. It was the first Cameron Highland trip I truly enjoyed. We spent a night in a hotel there, visited quite some interesting places like plantation farms and valleys, and of course, getting some fresh breaths with the cooling air there. Maybe the most important part was the people I spent my time with which were my lovely cousin sisters, aunts, uncles and PoPo from Singapore and Johore, and my own family as well. Not to forget, a maid of theirs and they all just stayed in my small little but warm single-storey terrace house when they were in Ipoh. Those were the sweet memories took place earlier in the beginning of December before my birthday on the 15^th. 

 


My birthday was a rather simple day. Someone I hoped that she would maybe come out with me couldn't make it and I didn't really ask my friends for a hang out (didn't even know who to ask as my buddy, Ken Hoong was in Kampar).Anyway, my mum prepared a simple steamboat at home and I spent most of the time of that seemingly-big day to me, surfing the Net and replying birthday wishes on my Facebook. Well, I didn't really get any birthday present except a wristband from a lovely girl who gave it to me a couple of days ago. That wasn't any big deal or sad thing to me though; I'm quite used to it.
          Nine days later was Christmas Eve. I was glad that my family (even though without my dad who's working in S'pore) was able to go out together for a movie, Treasure Hunter using free movie passes (thanks to Digi Campus :P) and was followed by a simple Christmas Eve steamboat dinner at Ipoh Parade. By the way, that was also considered a simple celebration of my brother's success in getting straight A's in his PMR, a result better than mine (by having an A's more than me) which made me rather proud of him. Well, on the next day which was Christmas day, that girl I mentioned earlier couldn't make it and again, I was spending my time at home, on the Net. The next day of anticipation was New Year which I didn't have much idea about earlier and wasn't expected much surprises or fun.

          Life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you'll get. Forrest Gump and his mum were quite right about that. I thought I was only going to spend my New Year Eve at home without any huge and happening New Year count down as I couldn't get anyone to go to any official count down spots with me. My buddy, Ken Hoong had proven me wrong when he came back from his UTAR campus in Kampar within a couple of hours and was ready to go out for a New Year Eve celebration and final count down with me...Wuhuuu!!!! The earlier plan was joining my old Popular colleagues for a steamboat supper at MP in Greentown and then, head to a club or sort of a disco place. That was an exciting one, going to a place where only people with the privilege of above 18 can enter. We reached MP quite early before my Popular friends reached there. My friend thought that we'd better have the count down at our next destination first with some other friends. Once again, the car engine is started and a move is made, heading to Rum Jungle, located next to Lost World of Tambun. 
      Meeting some old classmates there including my cousin, Dandy was a pleasure. Then, we entered that dark place with light effects and people's cheers all around and loud music at the dance floor. I was like almost couldn't feel like myself but controlled by the beating of my heart affected by the music bass. Besides us, there were my friends' UTAR friends who seemed to be used to the place. Getting high with the music at the dance floor with some simple dance moves wasn't that bad. According my friend and my own judgement, Rum Jungle is considered of a higher standard compared to some other discos where people stuck in a small place. I wouldn't talk more detailed about the clubbing thingy there but most importantly, I didn't made myself feeling how it's like to be drunk because that was totally unnecessary.

          My buddy spent one night at my house. The next day, I started my serious packing of my baggages as I'll leave Ipoh on the next morning to get back to INTI-UC, Nilai for my new semester. Later in the noon, I followed Ken Hoong back to his house to help him upgrading his laptop from Windows Vista to Windows 7. I was unsure if my CD works on his laptop but anyway, I gave it a try as he was attracted when I first showed him the features of Windows 7 Home Premium a week before that. After lunching at my friend's house with his dad's yummy fried bihun, we went to Ipoh Parade for a last minute shop before I leave Ipoh. We looked at some clothes while making a simple but rush window shopping as we had a plan of going for dinner at my home later after that. Then, I packed my baggages and spent one night in Ken Hoong's house. Leaving home this time made me feel a bit heavy-hearted as it was a long two-months stay and it finally ends. My next stay will be about a month and a half from now for Chinese New Year.

         The next morning, Ken Hoong gave me a ride to railway station with my heavy bagpack and luggage. When the train arrived at the stop, I made a step into the train with my INTI friend, once again leaving Ipoh for future's sake. Once again, I'm opening the lid of my white laptop on the train and glad to be able to type this long post. Thanks to my family, I had a great stay. Thanks to my friends especially Ken Hoong, this holiday season was awesome. See you, Ipoh. To the one I once anticipated, good bye.

p/s : There were some down moments which I didn't really mention much but it really added the meaning of my stay in Ipoh this time. Thank you and you'll be remembered :)













Click Click! :P

Happy Birthday to myself..

Happy birthday,yoong shen...you don't have someone to accompany you...at least you have some friends who send you wishes :)

a tUrniNg pOinT?

All these while, we were living our own lives as if there is no real connection between us, yet we have been having conversations and text chats for almost two years. These indirect communications have led to a relationship that we call it complicated.

I used to say, if we had chances to meet, perhaps we are in a love relationship now. However, things weren't made that easy for us. It is a fact that until now, we haven't had any face-to-face conversation. It was already fortunate for us to get to see each other for several times. All these while, our complicated relationship was built with imagination, anticipation, passion yet with doubts and sometimes, frustration and disappointment. I'm not sure if you agree but that's what it seems to me.

I don't remember when I started to be so daring that I call you by some sweet nicknames as if you are my girlfriend but I just couldn't help with it. You didn't really disallow me to do that, though. However, when there was a time when you told me you're tired of our complicated relationship, I was upset for some reasons, I don't know why but after all, that was not the end as we continued to text each other and eventually, I was back to the mood of treating you the same way as before.

Our relationship was indeed a long journey that we have walked it out together although we did not do it as a pair of lovers. Along the way, we have experienced many things in our own lives. I had gone through two relationships, a bad one and a memorable one. From these two relationships, I learnt a lot about how's life being with a girl, how to choose, make decisions or make a girl do decision, and maybe about what a girl need, what it takes to maintain a relationship and how to be a good boyfriend. But I guess it might be an undeniable fact after all, I'm not really an ideal, good boyfriend. I did take every relationship equally important and did felt the pain each time a girl turned me into disappointment or doubt of their honesty to me. I did not get into those relationships just to learn something before trying to start a relationship with you. Somehow, they even caused me phobia of some things about girls. Would you considered me a guy who flirts around, a playboy? If you understand me, perhaps you won't? I admit that each time I'm in a relationship with someone else, I didn't tell you until the time when I feel upset about a break up. Yes, maybe I'm selfish but maybe it's because I never dismiss the possibility that we might get to be together some day.

Why didn't I just take our so-called complicated relationship as a friendship? I don't know why, do you? We have created our own way of communicating after quite some time, a way like silly argues and trying to make each other frustrated for simple funny reasons. Once in a while, I told you that I suddenly have a strong feeling towards you and you too, get emotional sometimes when you're confused about us. Before this, we were saying that this feeling might exist due to the curiosity to each other, especially because we both were from non-co-ed schools. A question that was unanswerable emerged, "After almost two years, are we still just in mere curiosity in each other that makes us feel like getting together?" I wonder.....

Could a friend's encouragement just make you feel that it's time to clarify our complicated relationship the right way? I was pleased that you were willing to have such a serious talk with me, asking if there's a possibility, a chance for us to be together. I thought we really get into the matter now. It was not easy for both of us to rationalize the whole matter as we both are teens and you never have a boy-girl relationship before. I'm sorry that sometimes, I tend to make my previous relationship as an example in planning to start a relationship with you. Then, I was upset when you told me that you prefer easy-come-and-go relationship, a relationship that just start and end whenever we(to me,it's you) want. It's just like my previous relationship that I don't want it to happen again. For now, I hope to have a serious relationship. It should start if and only if a serious consideration is made and if and only if it has to be ended, we should at least try to fix and save our relationship. That was why I made you do a decision again. When you told me to do this tough decision instead, I hope that you can change you perception about relationship and agree with a serious relationship.

I used to say, especially when I was 17 in high school, that I wished to have a relationship before 18. Now, I'll turn 18 after a month, yet you're still not my girlfriend. However, in another way to say it, I was glad that you were not in any of my previous relationships. For now, shall I have another new resolution or wish? I wish to have a serious and long (if possible, everlasting) relationship with a girl on my way to becoming an adult between 18 to 21 years old. Just like the before one, I do not know if it'll come true. All I can do is to hope, anticipate and take the 99 out of 100 steps to find my loved one, and hopefully it's you. Until the day I really get to date you and talk face-to-face to you, we'll never know what will happen, whether what we planned works. If we are able to break the curse of not getting to talk face-to-face to each other and able to spend as much time as possible together, and when it's time, we shall be together as a lovely couple, hopefully. I hope I can promise you, just like how I promised to accompany you the whole night with text messages to keep you awake to study. I truly hope that I really get to buy you Baskin Robbins ice-cream like I promised for a long time.

#p.s 1: No matter what will happen to us in the future, you'll always remain as a distinctive girl in my heart. Thank you for being virtually with me all these while.
#p.s 2: To some people, please bear with me, with what I'm doing. And if necessary, accept my apology and maybe selfishness.

eNd oF mY FiRst SeM...

I just finished my final exam and this marks the end of my first semester as a college student in INTI-UC, Nilai. It all happened within 4 months when I was away from my hometown, Ipoh. Because of efforts and courage, I ought to face and experience numerous new things in my life. I could still recall back the memory of my first day coming to INTI registering for enrolment. All I could see were new environment and new faces.

Today, this place is no longer new to me and has became my second home. New faces are no longer strangers to me but my friends. I must say that I truly enjoyed my life in INTI. Within these few months, I got to know many new friends. They were all of different backgrounds, originated from various parts of Malaysia, from North to South and West to East, but there are some things that they share in common; they all are my friends and they are nice people.

Most importantly, I had my true first love relationship during college life with an adorable girl. Even though it has become a past tense, but at least I have memories with me. No matter what, she's a person for me to remember. She was indeed special, a reason for me to make her someone in my life, as my girl in one of the month in my life. For this period of exactly one month has made such a chapter of my life, I shall remember it forever, regardless of how it came to an end. I learnt a lot from this relationship, perhaps how to become a better boyfriend. My wish of having a relationship before 18 came true.

New friends there are the ones whom I spent most of my time there with, especially my roommate, Yee Sing and some guys who treated me like their younger brother, Michael and Wee Boon. They were the ones who listened to my problems and gave me advices. They were the ones I can count on when I need somebody to concern about me or when I face dilemma. Without them, without friends, life is meaningless. Deep in my heart, I would like to express my greatest gratitude to them and tell them how much I treasure our friendships. Sometimes, I was just thinking too much to have doubted the sincerity of anyone amongst them. After all, they are my friends. I can't ask for too much. All men are imperfect and it requires tolerance among each other to preserve a friendship.

Sometimes, life there is not simple and easy though. In academic wise, there were subjects in this semester that I enjoyed but also subjects that I wasn't very good in such as Calculus. Besides the struggle to cope with my weakness, I had to face the stress of studying within a group of students who are mostly and were doing better than me. Sometimes, the stress solely came from my own will when I wanted to do better or at least do my best. Anyway, it is a positive stress but it was the physical headache that tortured my brain once in a while. However, there was a reality for me to understand that I must learn to be competitive in order to survive in life.

Today, I have the chance to call myself a college student, mainly because of my scholarship that I can say that I got by luck. Without my scholarship, costly college education seems pretty impossible to me. Now, almost everything in my college life is paid. I'm glad to be able to help lessening my parents' burden by securing a good education for myself. I think I start to know what is dream comes true, even though it was only a short while when I just know that I can have such a dream...a college life.

toMorrOw cAn bE tOO latE...

If you're mad with someone, and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it.

Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend. And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late .

If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know....tell her/him.

Maybe today, that person is also in love with you.

And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .

If you really want to kiss somebody... kiss her/him.

Maybe that person wants a kiss from you, too . And if you don't kiss her/him today, tomorrow can be too late .

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...tell her/him.

Maybe that person have always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today , tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.

Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them.

Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away today , tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it.

Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and they leave today , then tomorrow can be too late.

- Adapted from forwarded e-mail `

thaNK YoU 4 EVerthinG...

To Her,

After reading Her blog post, I'm quite touched and have some thoughts in mind...Ya, exactly one month and it's the time for a decision, perhaps. Indeed, I'm glad too that I had her to spend my time with during those first few weeks of my college life. If this relationship was really like wind, it surely left some traces on the sand of the ground.

" Perhaps making your name as the password of my notebook did touched you, it didn't really make a difference right? Yes, everything happened peaceful enough. At first, I was thinking what is there really in your mind. Now, I think maybe it's just not the right feel for you,isn't it? Hope you'll find a great guy soon :)

But hey,why should you say you're a failure? I didn't make you feel like in a sweet first love relationship; it's my bad. I didn't spend enough time and effort.

1234567890-->130809-->Fake meteor rain-->0909090900-->130909 .

These are our memories...Love Street, the lane that we walked together before...Our shadows would continue walking without us...

Too bad,our relationship didn't last till Chinese's Mid-Autumn...Yes, we're back to our life again..but,I have a bad feeling. I'm not sure if it's because it's the lost of interest and curiosity or what, are you

avoiding me? I hope you're not. I hope we're not like couples who are no longer friends after their relationship ended. I hope we'll enjoy being each other's good friend. It'll be great if we can walk a Friendship Street together :) I'll wish for the best for you.....Signing off..Thank you for everything....

Sincerely from B

...........to YYBB